How Running Saved My Life

One of my favorite questions to ask every new runner I meet is: How did you get into the sport? Some people respond, “I started in high school,” or “I picked it up when I moved to a new city,” or simply, “I saw it was getting popular with my friends.”

For me, running quite literally saved my life.
What do I mean by that, you may ask?

The story goes back more than a decade.

When I was a younger teen, I struggled a lot with anxiety. While I had a good group of friends and a supportive family, I also had an older sister who often took up more of my parents’ attention. It was easier for me to shrink into the background—to be the quiet, reserved one who did what she was told. I also didn’t know how to handle all the changes that come with being a teenager, ie puberty, social circles, etc.

So, in my freshman year of high school, I started restricting my food intake and obsessing over going to the gym. Within three months, I lost about 30 pounds.
At 5'1" and weighing just 75 pounds, I was physically shrinking away.

It felt easier to channel my anxiety into controlling food and exercise than to face the uncertainty of growing up. At 14 years old, I was hospitalized for the first time. The doctors diagnosed me with anorexia.

I’ll never forget that day my parents first took me to the doctor’s office after the school nurse reported on me for health concerns. I spent more than four hours in the ER as the doctors tried to give me an IV. But because I was so thin and dehydrated, they couldn’t find a viable vein.

From that day on, my life was never the same.

I struggled with my eating disorder for the next decade. I was hospitalized three times and spent months in various outpatient and inpatient care centers. I missed school events and trips, and my relationships with family members were deeply affected.
If you’ve ever battled an eating disorder, you know how hard it is to break the cycle. It's a constant fight with yourself. Everyone wants to help—but ultimately, they can’t do it for you.

I rarely talk about this part of my life, because the girl I was then is not who I am today. Living with anorexia is a lonely existence, and not everyone is lucky enough to break free from it.

So how did I pull through?
I wish I had a magical answer—but I don’t. It took years of work, countless struggles, and a lot of self-acceptance to get to where I am today: healthy and recovered.

This is where I credit running for changing my life.

When you’ve lived at an unhealthy weight for so long, gaining weight feels uncomfortable. It goes against everything the eating disorder tells you. As I began the necessary journey of recovery—of gaining weight to be healthy—I had to fight back against every voice in my head that told me to stop.

At one point in my illness, I was “too thin” and “too frail” to even exercise. When you're at such a low weight, you don’t have the energy to do much of anything. But as I started to regain weight, I suddenly had all this excess energy—and my anxiety was higher than ever, as I tried to silence my disordered thoughts.

That’s when I discovered running.
Not in an obsessive way—not to lose weight or gain control. Running became an outlet. Even if only for a short time, it gave me relief from my anxiety. It helped me reconnect with my body. To run, you need energy and fuel. You need to take care of yourself.

Running became my escape—my way of coping when life felt too overwhelming and the urge to return to unhealthy habits crept in.

While some sports might idolize thinness, running often values strength and endurance. Of course, there are exceptions—but for the most part, you’ll see runners of every shape and size out on the roads. That diversity gave me a sense of belonging and acceptance.

The more I ran, the more confident I felt in my own skin—a feeling I hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

I’ve been running for more than a decade now, and it’s been about that long since I can say I truly overcame my eating disorder. This sport—this hobby, this outlet—gave me the ability to feel good about myself again. It gave me a reason to keep choosing health and strength.

I’d be lying if I said I never have thoughts about my past. Or that disordered thoughts don’t sometimes creep in when it’s time to eat out or see a race photo. Or that I always feel 100% confident in the way I look.

But I can say that with every run, it gets a little easier.
Without running, I’m not sure I would have the same appreciation for what our bodies are capable of. The sport requires care, nourishment, and balance in order to keep going.

So, why did I get into running?
To start my life again.